Tag Archives: marriage

Keeping the Home Fires Burning


Let’s face it stress, health, jobs, kids, pets, lack of sleep and a host of other distractions can have a negative impact on even the most romantic, chemistry infused relationships.

Sometimes it is necessary to take time out to make sure your sex life stays a priority.  The following list is designed to keep the bedroom hot on even the coldest of nights.

Get off the Grid  

Take a holiday together without pets or kids.  Give yourself the time to remember what it was like back in the early days of dating.  Unplug from the distractions of work and the internet and go some place that you both enjoy.  There is no doubt that a change of scenery leads to better and more connectivity of the non-internet speed.  Exploring a different destination and setting gets you thinking about exploring in other areas of your relationship.  Plus a little extra sleep does wonders, speaking of which…

Get Eight Hours

Going through life sleep deprived takes it toll.  Even the young reach an  eventual burn out stage.  We try for lights out by 10 PM to ensure a well rested work week.  Being tired also leads to the likelihood of snapping at each other and getting lost in criticism directed at ones partner.  With rest comes better conversations, more physical stamina and a desire to focus on the positive.  In addition, you are just more likely to feel like using the best natural form of sleep enhancement.

Get Positive

When you find yourself feeling that everything your partner does is wrong, sit yourself down and write out at least five things they did right with the last 24 hours.  Chances are you will realize all that criticism is petty and that their good qualities are right there waiting to be noticed.

Get Complimentary Towards Each Other

Tell each other that you look pretty, handsome, sexy or whatever.  It goes a long way toward making both of you feel sexually attractive to the other.  Men enjoy a compliment just as much as women.  If you are waiting around for that compliment, try turning the tables and pay the compliment first.  It will come back to you.

Get Over the Shame

Shaming your partner over their sexual desires and interests is a one way ticket to bed death.  Even if you don’t share the same inclinations, be open to listening and finding a way to pleasure.  Biting your partners head off when they try to express an interest leads to lack of communication and more and more distance from each other.

Get a Sense of Humor

Taking ourselves too seriously in the sexual arena is a waste of time and effort.  If you and your partner share a love of ribald humor then cultivate it.

Get a Goal

We set goals at work, about our budgets and in school.  There is nothing wrong with setting a goal about how often you both want to have sex.  It will get you talking and clue you in to your partners’ needs.

Get Exercise

Cleaning out the arteries through walking, swimming, running or a workout keeps the blood flowing and the endorphins firing.  Plus it keeps you feeling good and sexy about yourself and each other.

What tips have worked for you?  Please add to my list.  

In case you were wondering where I have been, the short answer is working or stressed about working, or having IVIG at home.  However, all that stress is ending July 2 as I become a real housewife.  So look for more from me, unless I am caught up in working on my book.  Let the games begin!

Jumbled Jubilee

Jumbled Jubilee

In looking back at 2011, the one thing that was constant in my life was change.  My whole life, environment  and body have changed.  At times I feel as if I have been in a wind tunnel struggling to hang on as events blew past me at breakneck speed.  Hence the image of the young woman whose car turned into a wind tunnel.  Of course as usual I was responsible for creating some of the tumult, and some was created around me.  I guess if I am still standing at the end of this crazy year, that says something.  Not sure what exactly, perhaps I am just a glutton for tackling too much at one time.  Let’s see if I can sum up 2011 by using the predictable list method:

  • renovated our house  (It went from shabby to chic.)
  • fired the cleaning service after they left my dog outside all afternoon  (Luckily he was not hurt, killed or lost.)
  • hired a new cleaning service  (Magda, Carmen and Luz are like family.)
  • gave time and money to charitable causes and helped several local families in need
  • planned my wedding and reception
  • married
  • went on our honeymoon – AWESOME!  (I knew I married him for a good reason.)
  • inherited husband’s children  (the old “for better or for worse” part of the vows)
  • inherited husband’s previous spouse and her provocations (see above)
  • planned and hosted a cider making party for husband’s daughter (see above)
  • said goodbye to my beloved canine companion of 14 years, Pumpkin
  • had surgery twice
  • had a concussion  (Gardening as a hobby really can be dangerous.)
  • visited eccentric family members on both sides  (I think his vows came into play here.)
  • adopted a new puppy – see above (It must be love.)
  • made some new friends and was dumped by one – She was supposed to be my maid of honor. (Luckily my gay brother could fill in with short notice. He still likes me thank G-d.)
  • had pheresis (Wouldn’t want to miss out on the fun of that.)
  • traveled overseas and domestically
  • read several great books, poems and short stories
  • attempted to improve my boss’s day by reducing her workload (I remember what it is like to have a stressful job such as her’s)
  • attempted to make my colleague at work smile  (I owe her so much.)
  • attempted to ease the burden of our patients, families and staff at the hospital (They face incredible hurdles and devastation with courage and conviction.)
  • lost my temper (Okay, is it any wonder after reading my list?)
As my late brother-in-law who lost his battle to lung cancer in 2010 said, “Life is all about love, baby.”  So keeping that always in mind, I am tired, but very pleased and grateful to G-d for my list.

So in 2012, I just hope to slow myself down.  I think after the year I just experienced that I do not need to have any goals or direction.  I think I should be able to watch Netflix, read and order in without feeling the slightest guilt.  But wait…

I hope to show my new puppy in obedience, travel to three destinations with my hubby, write my first book, spend more time with my mother and hubby’s parents, read multiple books, coordinate a Toys for Tots campaign, improve the relationship with the previous spouse for the youngest daughter’s sake and keep up my fitness and gardening schedule.  Hey, maybe this will be the year I actually get to become a real housewife?  A girl can dream, can’t she?

Any highlights of 2011 that you wan to share?  What are your dreams for 2012?