Dastardly Dash


Dear Mom,

I am thinking of running away from home.  Yesterday when you left the two of us at the dog grooming salon, no one fussed over me as they usually do.  Dash got all the attention.  The women marveled at his soft fur and kept praising him for every little thing.  They cooed at him and made silly noises.  What is the big deal about stupid puppies anyway?  I always go to the bathroom outside.  I sit.  I cuddle, and I do not bite everything I see.  I never try to steal shoes or socks and I walk perfectly on my leash.  So what if my breath is a little stinky?  You force me to go to the doggie dentist for a cleaning and at least my teeth are not sharp as a razor and falling out. I do not bark at my reflection and if I tried to bite you I cannot even begin to imagine what would happen.  But when he bites you, you just yell, “Ouch,”  and give him a toy.  Life is so unfair. When you go out he cries like a little baby and I have to stay here and listen to it.  It is maddening. Visitors come over to see him and so do other dogs.  When is the last time anyone did that for me, I ask you?   Then the final straw came when we left the grooming salon and he received a toy.  Even though it was a weird looking bird thing, I still wanted one.  I never got a toy just for getting a bath.  Again, I ask you what is the big fuss about puppies?  So, yes I did it.  I found the weird looking bird thing and I chewed its eyes off.  See how he likes that!



the rat terrier and older brother


I promise to still play with him and let him sleep next to me once in awhile, if I feel like it.

6 responses »

  1. Awww…poor Dash. Its not his fault he doesn’t have puppy breath or that cute puppy chub any more. Sounds like someone needs some special “Dash” time and perhaps seperate visits to the “Salon” (spoiled puppies!). Good luck Mom 🙂

  2. Yes, extra tummy rubs are indicated. It is rough being the older brother. I asked two young boys we ran into on our walk, if they remembered what it was like and the older one answered, “Yes, I hated him.”

  3. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! We are on vacation returning home tomorrow when I will thank you properly and share the wealth. Plus I shall get back to posting. Thank you again. I enjoy your blog and look forward to what happens next.

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